Is mindfulness for you? My emotional experience

Be more mindful and aware, disconnect from your wandering thoughts, be devoid from distractions and just be fully present! Cool. Seems easy enough. In fact, it is way more difficult than it sounds. Even as someone who has practiced yoga and mindfulness meditation for years and reads the sacred yoga texts, I still struggle to sit still and relax my mind. I fidget, my legs hurt, I start daydreaming etc etc .....

....until recently...

I was on a beach in Colombia attempting my first mindfulness meditation since leaving the UK for my travels. Sitting down, legs crossed, feeling the sand beneath me staring out to sea listening to Nuvole Bianche by Ludovico Einaudi.

*excuse the deep, personal story here. I have not written something like this before...

My gaze bouncing between the waves crashing, to the horizon as the sun is setting and at passers by. Eventually I become less aware of my external surroundings; what I could see, what I could hear and instead find myself completely lost in my thoughts. I suddenly feel overwhelmed with emotion. Thoughts of sadness for loved ones flood my mind. Tears start streaming down my face. Totally unaware of where I am, what I can see or who may be looking at me, my mind flashes up memories of loved ones. One after the other like a flashing camera reel..... My granddad, my grandma without my granddad, my Nan caring for her partner with Alzheimer's, my sister, my dad, my mum, their relationship, my relationship, past relationships,.... People I want to help and be near, things I can't control.....

Totally overwhelmed by emotion, powerless and unexpected.

Suddenly, I look down and feel the tears. I feel conscious again.

I usually dont cry, well not at real things, just animal adverts, I certainly don't talk about my feelings. Confused by what was happening, I sit there, consciously this time, and cry.

Eventually, just as the tides change and the waves settle, my feelings wash away, the tears stop and I feel calm. Pain and suffering exists and we can't block it out, we need to deal with it and focus on what we have and what we can change, not what we can't .

What you can change, change. What you can't change, learn to accept!

I settle myself back down, close my eyes and focus on my breath......

What happened next took me by surprise, but not until 30-40minutes later. I open my eyes and see the sea again. I can't feel my legs and my hearing is hazy. Eventually I realise I had fully disconnected from the things around me and hushed my mind of all the previous passing thoughts. Mindfulness meditation...

I remember floating, feeling myself lift up over the sea looking back at the beach. Trust me, I normally think all this is a load of rubbish. But if you truly 'just be', relax in your surroundings, focus on your breath and accept what emotions you start to feel, you can become truly still.

I'm not sure how it happened, but it gives me hope to carry on and practice mindfulness. My friends know how bad I am at accepting when I feel sad, I shut it out.

Don't block out your feelings and emotions because you want to be strong. It prevents us from truly accepting our lives for what they are.

'the only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance'. - Alan Watts

Mindfulness & Meditation

Meditation is an approach to training your mind. In Buddhist tradition, 'meditation' is a family of activities not just a single thing!

What's the difference between mindfulness and meditation?

This can be confusing as they are very similar and overlap.

Simply, Mindfulness is about being present and aware of the situation you are in, but not overly reacting to the situation. It's being present without judgement.

Meditation is setting aside time to do something good for yourself. It can broadly be related to anything as long as intention is set. For example, in exercise meditation when you intentionally exercise to clear the mind.

Now where the confusion lies is from the most well known type of meditation - mindfulness meditation. Here you intentionally set aside time to stop and be truly mindful and aware of your situations and thoughts. The typical form is through sitting, knees touching the earth and eyes closed.

Hence, both mindfulness and meditation are combined.

Why should you try mindfulness meditation?

Reduces stress and anxiety
Improves concentration
Improves sleep
Lowers blood pressure
Increases patience
Increases efficiency
Is more virtuous and compassionate
Encourages a healthy lifestyle
Increases happiness
Regular practice improves cardiovascular and immune health

Meditation tips:

Don't panic, you don't need to own a mini cushion or OM to meditate. Just find a way that works for you. Here are some tips...

Focus on your breath - tuning into your breathing can anchor you away from your wandering thoughts
Listen to relaxing music
Close your eyes
Read the benefits of meditation - understanding the results of meditation will make you more dedicated and passionate about it
Find a comfortable seated or lying down position
Start small - begin practicing for 3 minutes and increase the time slowly.

"Realise deeply that the present moment is all you ever have." - Eckhart Tolle

Namaste.

May you be at Peace. ☮